Rily Dont Know Pals..

The weekend was more or less the same..Except that it gave a feed to this Blog..
I'v now become accustomed to the ventin out sessions of many a 'people'..This time it was Gaurav..
"I Don't Know How to Love her...." He Said.
I really do not know how to love her ever since the story of Mr. "A" came up.
I think she changed a lot after a couple of months.. She loves to nag,
always say that I'm not beautiful..
and my mentality sucks...
Sometimes I don't know why,
I just don't feel the love from her anymore,
not as strong as last time.
But sometimes,
she's showering me with so much of love....
Sometimes.. I feel like we are just a normal friends,
but sometimes I feel that we are lovers...
Sometimes her ignorance annoyed me,
but sometimes I felt so blessed.
Evil thoughts kept crossing my mind.....
Does she treat her friend the same way she treats me?
Does she nag at her friends?
I wonder....
whether her friends..
all have really been treated this way,
I wonder....
She has changed.....
totally......
Maybe she's just testing me..... my patience or..
maybe she just wants to crib...
She said ,, its a bad phase of her life..the worst probably..
but then why do i ahve to be the most considerate guy around..
I don't really think so,
like the way she threw tantrums at me..
when I was actually der for her..,
the way she still does that...
when I's busy tryin to get her out of the mess..
This is the N'th time I feel alone....
I didnt even know how a good life looks like...
Never mind,
because I'v got a strong inner self..
helping me... telling how it is good to ne tough....
I really can't live w/o them.... seriously...
She said I don't make friends around... then why on earth.. him,
making friend's.. friend all around the world.
I told him that she didnt even introduce her friends to me when we talked,
she'll just either cut away the phone or talk something else....
(covering up the matter).
She said I surely can't mix up with her friends,
then I was very furious that time( but still putting on a smiling face) 笑里藏刀
haha.....
I asked her..
is it because I'm not a Show- Man.. scholar.. or wat ever scholar and she's ashamed of bringing me out to meet with her friends.
Then she was like no......
she said she just has the feeling that
I can't mix well with her friends.
Okay fine!
I"m already fed up wtih it.....
Maybe we see each other too often this time,
but whenever she does that covering up pose,
my heart shattered.
why is she so secretive of the immoral deeds?
I have got millions and millions of whys to ask her,
but I don't know where to start.
It really hurts and it hurts so much.
Each time I can feel my heartstrings is pulling me
(something..... forgot the scientific name of it)
"It's very painful....
oh love is handsome,
may love be fine.
& love's a jewel while it's new.
But when love grows old,
it grows so cold,
& fades away like
morning dew....." HE SAID..
--- NVS

She's not a girl, Not yet a woman...

She's not a girl.... not yet a woman..
I used to think,

I had the answers to everything,

Mm... but now I know,
That life doesnt always go my way....

yeah...
Feels like I'm caught in the middle..

Thats when I realize..
She's not a girl,

Not yet a woman..
All She needs is time,

A moment that'l be mine..
While I'm in between,
She not a girl
There is a need to protect her,
But..

Its time..

that she learns to face up to this on her own..
I'v seen so much more ...than she knows now..

So..

dont tell me to shut my eyes..
She's not a girl,

Not yet a woman....

All She needs is time,

A moment that'l be mine...

While I'm in between,

She's not a girl
But if you look at her closely,
You will see it in her eyes..
This girl will always find her way...
Dont tell her what to believe..
She's not yet a woman
I'm just tryin to make her find the woman in her,

yeah..
All she needs is time...
Whoa,
All she needs is time...
A moment that'l be mine...
thats hers.. too..
While I'm in between,
She's not a girl,
Not yet a woman
Not now..
--- ( Convenient Adaptation.. NVS )
All the Credit sincerely goes to the song writer..

What the _ _ _ _ [part (2)]

Conversation is the substance of friendly social activity.
It can be happy.
It can be light.
It can be earnest.
It can be funny.
But it must not be salty,or uncouth,or foul if one is in sincerity."
When I was growing up,I never heard my parents swear . . . not once,
at least not that I can recall anyways.
I never heard either one of them utter the "F" word or anything at all like it.
In fact I don't think I ever heard that word from anyone until I was a teenager(13-14) at least,
and even then I didn't know what it meant ( at first ).
You just very rarely heard it,it just was not done.
It seems today though,we are surrounded with foul language.
It is used in a lot of the shows on television and if it is after the watershed hour,
then it isn't even bleeped out.
I find myself cringing every time I hear the word and especially when I hear people blurting out " what the f*** ?",
or other forms of the connotation!
They don't even realize that they are doing it . . .it has become so much a part of ordinary every day language.
When I first came across people, When I's in my early teens, the language of the other students here was appalling.
Every second word seemed to be the "F" word and they took the Lord's name in vain something awful.
I dont prefer its usage!
I had not told them that they were offending me.
I hadn't asked them to stop.
I had just showed them by my still and small example that it was offensive.
I didn't judge them,or tell them that what they were doing was wrong . . .
I merely stated that it was wrong for me.
It's not so easy to impress film makers or television producers of the same thing . . .they quite largely don't care.
As long as the money rolls in,it's all good to them.
I just turn the channel if something is too profane.
I may not be able to keep it from off of the airwaves . . .but I can keep it out of my home.
That's one of the reasons that I don't watch Gordon Ramsay.
I love cooking shows,as you probably could have imagined,but I cannot stand the foul language.
He might be a great chef for all I know,but I won't listen to or watch his foul mouth in action.
I just don't think it's necessary.
I am quite sure that at the beginning these words were put in for shock value and to grab people's attentions . . .but what's happened is that they have become a part of ordinary, everyday, acceptable conversation . . .
and that my friends . . .is really sad . . .totally un-necessary . . .and for me . . .unacceptable.Of all the obscene words and gestures in the world,the one I despise the most is the F-word and finger.
I may occasionally SAID it,but I don't like it.Why?Because it demeans the person who uses it.
He/she comes across as a low-class, vulgar fool with a limited vocabulary.
So,it upsets me when I hear my friend say:“F***,I Forgot my cellphone!” or“I don’t F***ing care!
”It also angers me when a driver flashes his middle finger as he overtakes me on the highway.
I wish I could wash their foul mouth out with soap and break their middle finger.
Do you feel the same way,or is that word and gesture like background music to you?
Doesn’t it bother you?
There is absolutely no need to swear.
If necessary,do check a thesaurus for a polite synonym.
Trust me,a little courtesy will always get you what you want in life.
Kids use it like water.
Our use of language in general reflects a very low self-esteem and less esteem of others.
The other day one of those 'taxivaallahs' that take visitors to their destinations honked and gave me the finger because I slowed down to see if I was turning into the right service station.
I was bummed that I wasn’t quick enough to get his company name or license number.
I was upset that he flicked the bird at me but was more mad because he is someone in the tourist industry acting like that.
Flipping the bird and saying the “F” word is a part of the gangsta culture and quite prominent on the movie screen and in comedy.
So,its here to stay.
Quite frankly,there are much more descriptive words to use.it is simple….. just don’t allow it.in our home that kind of language is out the door.they know they would be kicked out of the house for swearing.we just don’t condone it in our household.
I thought I was really restraining myself -
I can be a whole lot saltier but you never know when your people, might read your blog.
Or your mom,(Okay, I do remember using the F-word recently,but my goodness,I meant it literally as a verb - that's gotta count for something.)
But wait!
It's more complicated.
Or maybe something else entirely.
But "High," it's not.
--- NVS

"What the _ _ _ _????"

As it’s the end of seemingly just another week,
I wanted to dive back into the blog with something on the lighter side of things and

what could be an easier ( not that really ) topic to bring up..
As the title of this entry infers,
I’m talking about that "f" word..
'F*** OFF'
Hmmmm....Sometimes...
i just don't understand why people like to use that F-word so much?
seriously,
i do use it at times.
but now,
in fact.....
i cant stand people using the F-word as and when they like.
Yeah....
i mean if u don't respect urself,
then just respect the listener and the people around u.
u can always use the alternative word.
that F-word has its own meaning too.
I SERIOUSLY CANT STAND THE USAGE OF F-WORDS MAN!!

its not that i'm too traditional but its just that its so not nice to use it,
'especially girls'.
Yeah..
you heard it..
especially if you don't expect it to be hurled at you..
and you are caught all off-guard..
I mean that is the least you could expect..
I never said anything that would in any manner would offend the said girl..
she was frustrated cuz of someting and what i get to here is the f-word..
hurled at me ..
having such sharp edges as though it were a weapon of war..yes ..
and the most detestable part is that..she ain't even apologetic about it..
when i tell her that ..
it was an abuse.. to me..
whether or not u intended it..
and i have never ever said.. f*** off to anybody as yet ..
in all these years of my life...
all she had to offer was that..
she'd used it more often and it was okay..
after-all she didn't exactly mean to hurl an abuse at me..
It was my mistake..
being the fact that ..
i had to bear the brunt of talkin to her at a time when she was not doin fine with her temperament..
all i wanted to do is to make her feel better ..
and with that very intention i had called her..
but to my utter dismay..
what i get here is a concentrated volume of abuse..
Indeed the 'F-word'..
Ofcourse..
A 'sorry' followed the incident..
with an explanation i already knew..
deep inside i knew that the f-word was more of a means to venting out the frustration..
but why this way..
by abusing some other person..
who is infact in the process of making you feel better..
I tried getting over it..
but seemingly so..
i can't.. what to do..??
the severity is so much so to say..
that i can't think of anything else.. as of now..
oh well,
i felt that i'm not respected when people use F word.
i mean yes,
sometimes u might be angry........pissed off or whatsoever,
but can u please control that 'filthy mouth' of yours?
i know the usage of F-words is FREE but i just don't like it.
'get lost' is what.. u wanna tell me...??
that F***ing f-word.....
sorry for that..
but i can't accept it.
and.....
all i expect...
from 'her' now...
is that..
gauging 'THE SEVERITY' of the incident..
she makes good...
from what has happened..!!
--- NVS

Don''t tell me.. why you are late...

Feeling very frustrated today.
Sometimes it seems like no matter how hard you try,

things just turn around and bite you in the backside.
I sincerely wish that consideration of others' time was a higher priority for people.
Yesterday,

I was waiting for someone at the local station.

The concerned person didn't arrive at the station at the time decided earlier on the phone before i left my place,

so that we could leave for the destination, immediately thereafter.
After about 5 minutes i called in,

the answer being that the person was leaving his place,

while i was already been waiting at the station like an "*******"!

I, myself too, get late at times.
I completely know that we live in a metro and you are bound to get late by 5-10 minutes.

but the person came around 20 minutes late,

reason being,

leaving home late and not the traffic neither work or anything of that sort.
Its so bloody frustrating to wait like an idiot at the station.

THIS IS NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THIS IS HAPPENING,

I have been very clear , direct, indirect and everything to make him understand that,

you have to value other's time.

what if i make you wait even for 5 minutes?
But the person seems unmoved by the constant appeal,

a 'sorry' and a 'new excuse' each and every time on his part seems okay as a justification.

I'm not here to say that he's lying or anything but this is frustrating,

for sure,

for me as a person!

will these people ever change...??
The place,this metro rather has changed,

indicating that the people who make it 'on/before time' are mere idiots and should change on,

to coming late,

as to give people time to have time of their own.
That's right,

then PERHAPS,

ITS HIGH TIME I should change,

i guess,for good,atleast with these people.
And its just that the topic needs to go on that long and that there is not a lot being said.

It is a genre of people who clearly just like arriving late and 'ASSUMING THAT' they're some kinda 'Celebrities'..

infact they themselves celebrate their 'coming late' with all the sugar coated rich in creme` excuses!
for me it is nothing but...

a lack of respect on their part for others as well as themselves.
that makes me conclude,

as we have to weigh out a cost-benefit analysis regarding whether..

the time lost is worth the time we're going to spend later with them,

but this requires an accurate accounting for how much worth these people are..??

I know.. this sounds rude!
If I had known they would continue doing it for so long,

I wouldn't have waited,or may be i would still have,

these people seem to think no end of themselves,

with coming as late as about 1& 1/2 to 2 hours late!

and talking about 20- 25 minutes.. haa--ah..

Its nothing for them!
I have been hopeful, saying that..

in the future,
in the future,
in the future,
At least sometime,

these people will make it in time.
I remember this,

and try to grant more consideration to others than I was given.
I get into an argument with my friends,

and let's say that I ain't so calm and I do have an inside voice.
I feel bad for making it rude,

but I've been so frustrated and angry at them that it was just the tip of the iceberg.
Better now than later.

I think I just got sick and tired of their ways.

they just don't understand sometimes,

and just don't listen to what I have to say.
Everyone told me that it's going to be alright,

but in actuality,

I feel like it's never going to be alright.
Lately,

I feel like I can't talk to anyone,

hence,

writing has been my best friend since times immemorial.
It's a lonesome feeling of being caught between desires and obligations.
I don't think anyone can empathize,

even my closest friends.
I,so desperately, want 'this very something'( people getting late) in my life to change,

whether it's work, family, friends, or love life.
I just need something to change before I turn even more unhappy than the state I am in now.
I realized that I just keep giving.

And giving.
And giving.
To the point,

I don't have anything to give anymore.

Meaning.. I am really running out of patience.

I can't be naive..

I can't be agressive..
I'm so numb and so...distant...that I just don't know what to do anymore.
Everything I say isn't good enough.
Everything I give isn't good enough.
I am just failing at this whole life gig.
I. am. just. so. frustrated.

I end this with an inherent (final) appeal..
Will ya please be on time....??
Cuz i ain't waiting the next time you are late again.
And i'm going to leave for sure!

Sorry for being so rude..

( i know.. that is so 'not me')

But u leave me no choice!
---NVS

U Wanna Opine....???

Before i start blogging here,

i would like to make certain things very clear that what i write here is strictly my opinion and may not be the truth.
It is how i have percieved the world around me.
I do not intend to influence anyone or hurt anyone's sentiments.
It's your wish completely to read this and ignore or take it to heart!!
Though you are invited to comment on my post and tell me if i go wrong somewhere.

“Everyone is entitled to his opinion.”
Oh,

how many times I’ve heard that expression!

Sometimes it’s a matter-of fact statement.
Usually it’s a snide way of saying, “I disagree with you.”

What is this thing called an opinion that everyone has a right to possess?
To get the ball rolling,

here are a few opinions about opinions.
Opinions are beliefs based on imperfect and incomplete information.
Opinions can be a good-faith effort at understanding and stating the truth.
They can also be an emotional shield from inconvenient and painful truths.
An opinion tends to be empowered by the reputation of the opinion holder as well as the number of people subscribing to it.
Opinions are always coloured by personal bias.
All of these thoughts imply there is a qualitative aspect about every opinion.
Bad opinions can be life-threatening — good opinions can be life-changing.
Life’s a challenge for us, individually and collectively,

to sort the good opinions from the bad ones.
So,

as we seek to evaluate the quality of our own opinions and those of others there are some things to consider.
To my way of thinking, unsolicited opinions can be the worst kind.
To preempt your guilt pangs from offering unsolicited opinions,

I will close by inviting your comments.
We probably all have one - an opinion or belief that many people would find fault with and believe we were totally wrong in thinking that.
So what's your one...???

More Illustratively..

o-pine: verb :: To express opinions.
"No doubt she will opine that it is all your fault, dearest, and that I have behaved admirably." -- George Bernard Shaw
It's always possible to find someone undermining your (my) hard-earned vistas on events and things.

I love a WEBSITE,

where opinions were straight and in black and white, no shadows of doubts there.
"This MOVIE sucks"

hey, I'll never go for it! "

Look out, that movie is a masterpiece",
cinemas here I come!

Most of all I loved a movie reviewer speaking weird technical and philosophical terms about movies:

i remember the review of "NO SMOKING",

and how it made me want to see the movie and feel the same hate for the director...
But then I realised:

how many movies did I skip based on bad reviews?

how many more books are there which could cause a sparkle in my mind,

even if everybody agrees it's crap?

why do I feel frustrated...??
and there it came:

the perfect fusion of theory, opinions, historical facts and fiction, that Da Vinci Code which turned everybody in suspicious doubters on everything religious...

maybe we would be adoring some fake icon since too many years...
I bet each one of us would like to be among the jesus and magdalena descendants to watch the world and think "ha!

THAT is something to tell friends at "BARISTA"

I am amazed by how everyone wants to have _their_ view on the facts,

maybe biased and incomplete,

maybe extreme or naive.
And I'm amazed that everything, _everything_, can be questioned
no one likes to be pushed opinions in the head and to realise it..

"Do Opine in here.."

U ALL..

THE NEAREST AND THE DEAREST..
This of-course is just an opinion..

lolzzzzzzz..
---NVS

"Don't be Shy, Abhinav"...!!

"On the outside, I'm a bit of a skeptic", Abhinav said.

"which really just means,
I keep an open-mind and don't judge too quickly.
On the inside,
I'm an idealistic romantic.
I'm interested in someone who's confident but not arrogant,
who's open to a relationship.
Someone who wants to share and learn new things!

I may be shy but I'm not traditional or conventional...

I go to the gym a more than a couple of times a week,
like to shoot pool, go on vacations..since a few summers ago.
The beach is my favorite place to vacation but it's great getting to the city, too.
I usually only get to travel for business but..
I'm always looking for a chance to get away for good times and good food...
I like to document my travels with lots of pictures but even better would be to share them in person!"

i Said,"You're intelligent, curious, and perceptive,
but don't take things too seriously."

You like sharing what you know and what you like and want to try new things yourself.
I'd much rather prefer, you be a progressive guy!

Why are men shy when they are around the woman they like?

I Remember a female friend.. asked me this..

''a guy really likes me and he talks to me a lot but doesn't hug/kiss me or anything.
He likes talking to me everyday.
He tells me things he doesn't tell anyone else.

But he is very flirtatious and confident around other girls.
He told me himself that he is VERY shy.
I'm confused.''

well, i told her to talk to him..
she said,
Well.. I told him!
and his response was,
''thats very flattering.
I thought you just saw me as a guy you speak to in the evening.
I'm kinda innocent in that way -
i don't look for people to bother about me''.

But then we carried on talking - but not about the weather for sure.
What does this mean?
*sigh*
I made a move - now what?!
I told her..
if you really like this guy, don't give up.

At times men are very shy,too.
They are always very flirtatious with all the other girls,
but it was like they are afraid to talk to a particular the 'one'.

Finally, you ask him out, and he'd say 'yes'.
you'd be glad..
you didn't give up on him.

For some men,
when they are around a girl they really like,
its like.. they are shy...

They can flirt with the other girls because they are not really attracted to them
and there is a less chance of rejection.

Mebbe..
the same reason women are shy when around the man they like for.

This guy (Abhinav) is madly in love with her.
Usually..
if a guy really has a feeling to a girl.
He cannot express the normal feeling personally to you,
unlike with the ordinary girls he treats.

You are so special to him. That's it!
The guy feels shy because he doesn't know what will be his move.

He feels the excitement,
doesn't feel uncomfortable and the eyes are twinkling for you.
He is so conscious of himself because his love for you is overwhelming.
I bet you, he loves you very much.

I told her(the female friend),
Keep talking to him.
He admitted he was shy,
and it sounds like he really does like you.

For women, the reaction is this,
"isn't it so cute when men are shy around women?
I find it so adorable when a man acts like a little boy in front of a woman...
it is so cute!

Shyness is nothing but a socially acceptable and polite word for FEAR..??
In other words,
"shy" people are scared shit less!
really....??
or are they just following the social norms of decency ??

Shy people are fearful of new experiences, of speaking up, of taking risks, and of new people.
this was surely not the case with Abhinav,
the guy whom i was referring to, earlier in the blog!

Associating, speaking up and social interaction with painful and humiliating rejection,
shy single men will do ANYTHING to avoid such pain.

This includes seeking better employment, promotions and raises.
People that claim to be shy have bombarded their psyche with negative messages of rejection and failure.

After one of these downer pep talks,
you find yourself afraid of being rejected,
afraid of saying the wrong thing,
afraid of looking stupid.

Is it any wonder that you go into social situations shivering in fear?
The way around this is to stop the negative thoughts as soon as they start.
Stop thinking about the pain you MIGHT, MAYBE, POSSIBLY feel,
and instead focus on the joy you can bring into someone 's life,
the fun you can have,
and what it is going to feel like at the end of the evening..
when you head home a winner!

Remember that guys are nobody different from women when it comes to talking.
We're all afraid of rejection and not being liked.
Which means that women are just as afraid of being rejected,
being dress inappropriately or looking foolish as you are!

Ladies also enjoy a good conversation,
witty banter and flirtatious flattery as much as anyone else.
You've traveled, enjoy hobbies or have other interests, right?

On a first date,
few people want to discuss deep subjects like the philosophy of Nietzsche!
In these meet and greet settings,
it 's all about getting to know who you are,
allowing someone else to get to know you,
and to find out what you two may have in common.

Get that ball rolling by walking up and introducing yourself.
A shy guy might begin by sharing his name,
A thorough gentleman of sorts..
where he goes to school,
what he is majoring in,
what he likes about it, etc.

Most women will also want to know what you do professionally as well.
Be prepared to discuss your job and what you find to be rewarding or frustrating about it.

About your family and siblings,

Ask her, the same information.
It 's just talking and no big deal.

To avoid crossing boundaries which WILL get you rejected,
please be a gentleman at all times,
if u already are one, you are lucky..

Make it a point to force yourself to step outside your comfort zone and interact with others.

Gain control of your mind and thoughts instead of allowing them to control you,
and you'll never miss out on an 'opportunity' due to shyness again!

--- Dedicated to a dear friend, Abhinav!

---NVS