"Don't be Shy, Abhinav"...!!

"On the outside, I'm a bit of a skeptic", Abhinav said.

"which really just means,
I keep an open-mind and don't judge too quickly.
On the inside,
I'm an idealistic romantic.
I'm interested in someone who's confident but not arrogant,
who's open to a relationship.
Someone who wants to share and learn new things!

I may be shy but I'm not traditional or conventional...

I go to the gym a more than a couple of times a week,
like to shoot pool, go on vacations..since a few summers ago.
The beach is my favorite place to vacation but it's great getting to the city, too.
I usually only get to travel for business but..
I'm always looking for a chance to get away for good times and good food...
I like to document my travels with lots of pictures but even better would be to share them in person!"

i Said,"You're intelligent, curious, and perceptive,
but don't take things too seriously."

You like sharing what you know and what you like and want to try new things yourself.
I'd much rather prefer, you be a progressive guy!

Why are men shy when they are around the woman they like?

I Remember a female friend.. asked me this..

''a guy really likes me and he talks to me a lot but doesn't hug/kiss me or anything.
He likes talking to me everyday.
He tells me things he doesn't tell anyone else.

But he is very flirtatious and confident around other girls.
He told me himself that he is VERY shy.
I'm confused.''

well, i told her to talk to him..
she said,
Well.. I told him!
and his response was,
''thats very flattering.
I thought you just saw me as a guy you speak to in the evening.
I'm kinda innocent in that way -
i don't look for people to bother about me''.

But then we carried on talking - but not about the weather for sure.
What does this mean?
*sigh*
I made a move - now what?!
I told her..
if you really like this guy, don't give up.

At times men are very shy,too.
They are always very flirtatious with all the other girls,
but it was like they are afraid to talk to a particular the 'one'.

Finally, you ask him out, and he'd say 'yes'.
you'd be glad..
you didn't give up on him.

For some men,
when they are around a girl they really like,
its like.. they are shy...

They can flirt with the other girls because they are not really attracted to them
and there is a less chance of rejection.

Mebbe..
the same reason women are shy when around the man they like for.

This guy (Abhinav) is madly in love with her.
Usually..
if a guy really has a feeling to a girl.
He cannot express the normal feeling personally to you,
unlike with the ordinary girls he treats.

You are so special to him. That's it!
The guy feels shy because he doesn't know what will be his move.

He feels the excitement,
doesn't feel uncomfortable and the eyes are twinkling for you.
He is so conscious of himself because his love for you is overwhelming.
I bet you, he loves you very much.

I told her(the female friend),
Keep talking to him.
He admitted he was shy,
and it sounds like he really does like you.

For women, the reaction is this,
"isn't it so cute when men are shy around women?
I find it so adorable when a man acts like a little boy in front of a woman...
it is so cute!

Shyness is nothing but a socially acceptable and polite word for FEAR..??
In other words,
"shy" people are scared shit less!
really....??
or are they just following the social norms of decency ??

Shy people are fearful of new experiences, of speaking up, of taking risks, and of new people.
this was surely not the case with Abhinav,
the guy whom i was referring to, earlier in the blog!

Associating, speaking up and social interaction with painful and humiliating rejection,
shy single men will do ANYTHING to avoid such pain.

This includes seeking better employment, promotions and raises.
People that claim to be shy have bombarded their psyche with negative messages of rejection and failure.

After one of these downer pep talks,
you find yourself afraid of being rejected,
afraid of saying the wrong thing,
afraid of looking stupid.

Is it any wonder that you go into social situations shivering in fear?
The way around this is to stop the negative thoughts as soon as they start.
Stop thinking about the pain you MIGHT, MAYBE, POSSIBLY feel,
and instead focus on the joy you can bring into someone 's life,
the fun you can have,
and what it is going to feel like at the end of the evening..
when you head home a winner!

Remember that guys are nobody different from women when it comes to talking.
We're all afraid of rejection and not being liked.
Which means that women are just as afraid of being rejected,
being dress inappropriately or looking foolish as you are!

Ladies also enjoy a good conversation,
witty banter and flirtatious flattery as much as anyone else.
You've traveled, enjoy hobbies or have other interests, right?

On a first date,
few people want to discuss deep subjects like the philosophy of Nietzsche!
In these meet and greet settings,
it 's all about getting to know who you are,
allowing someone else to get to know you,
and to find out what you two may have in common.

Get that ball rolling by walking up and introducing yourself.
A shy guy might begin by sharing his name,
A thorough gentleman of sorts..
where he goes to school,
what he is majoring in,
what he likes about it, etc.

Most women will also want to know what you do professionally as well.
Be prepared to discuss your job and what you find to be rewarding or frustrating about it.

About your family and siblings,

Ask her, the same information.
It 's just talking and no big deal.

To avoid crossing boundaries which WILL get you rejected,
please be a gentleman at all times,
if u already are one, you are lucky..

Make it a point to force yourself to step outside your comfort zone and interact with others.

Gain control of your mind and thoughts instead of allowing them to control you,
and you'll never miss out on an 'opportunity' due to shyness again!

--- Dedicated to a dear friend, Abhinav!

---NVS